Tag Archives: Understanding

15Revisions.

“I guess the difference is in that of a whistle pig and a woodchuck”

, I said, “that’s a bullhead and a catfish.”

Graceland played while I looked at Brahma steel toe

and I thought of the McCandless quote about

mans spirit coming from new experiences.

and when I hear that Hollingsworth track,

“up over the hills ain’t even really that far”

I think of how coasts and inland smell different.

Vedder wants a last breathe that he won’t let out

which I get but there are guys who just want to keep breathing.

So I picked my car up in the morning, humming,

“I”m going to Graceland, Graceland”

and I packed for Brookville, Brookville,

and I burned CD’s for the drive,

thinking I’m bound singing to Graceland.

I did 80 to Clarion wondering what I’d eat for dinner,

thinking of the day before, doing 60 down 219 into PA,

wondering the same thing.

And when I woke up I did calisthenics and

pulled a muscle in my thigh a little,

and had bad powder eggs and a high toasted bagel.

sometimes I find myself not liking what I wrote,

I change it.

I got lost in Clarion and thought about dinner.

I notice myself wondering how far I will go.

My fortune cookie said,

“Everything is possible;

just not so probable.”

and I guess that’s pretty true.

The best part about is driving is just going and going and not thinking about anything in between but what’s in your line of vision and a full tank. So you go on and on and stop in from town to town but for the most part you just have lots of thinking time. Luckily you got Howlin’ Wolf on CD and 10 tracks to go.

I really made it to Pennsylvania,

embracing the knowledge in trucks.

So I parked in the bank parking lot and walked down the the street corner, one big Brahma step at a time. I opened the glass door and 34 heads all confused on who disrupted their card game turned. I walked through them, toward the back of the room and looked for someone who looked in charge. I knocked on the fridge behind me and heard a “Hello!”. A filthy old man showed himself and he knew I was not from town.

Flew up on 66 N in a little snow storm and got home for a two day stay not long before midnight.

I woke up and thought it was Sunday.

There’s no brakeman slowing down,

just whole and oholy luck that I’ll stay on track.

accidentally gave the waiter a two twenties on a $25 bill,

thought it was a ten.

Lou Reed, Tom Waits, Lord Buckley,

gotta get the coffee ready for morning.

I sleep with the fan on high.

Might have got a fiber glass sliver at work.

training for the future,

invent it then manifest it.

this locals dog pissed in the front of the shop today.

I broke the tire shop padlock.

this professional driver knowledge is getting the best of me,

got 6 oil related hats and was excited.

I know trucks past ’07 more than likely to have synthetic differential fluid than older models and a mudflap can ruin a drivers payload.

itching to get a drink.

I know what a drivers face looks like

when his hood falls off his tractor.

I know I really couldn’t call people all day.

I know $1.50 a week/unlimited coffee is a deal.

Sat and watched the waves hit the shore from the third floor balcony

of the beach house, wondering where the clam was that I tossed back in from

the shore. The rain pounded the bay window from the couch within, four feet up

on the coffee table.

my friend said once, “I’ve been working. I get to see the sun rise everyday. I think that’s pretty cool.”

I thought that was pretty cool.

we had talked and talked deep brooding thoughts before,

as some people talk and talk deep brooding thoughts.

but this off the sleeve comment really showed just how delicate life can be.

It’s strange stepping back out of town and watching it from a distance.

I told them, “that’s something I take real serious”

and they believed me. Wild.

I made it home and sat on ideas for two weeks,

reflecting.

I just want to sit with four feet on a coffee table and breath in unison.

 

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Lost in translation

It’s hard to differentiate the sad from the happy if both are caused by the same entity. What more can a man do but be torn through each transition, wondering how the next day will develop.
Lost in his own mind, scurrying about for meaning and reason, alas, it vanished in the abyss that is his cerebral cortex. It comes as no surprise that retribution for the pain is paid in full, yet there’s nothing to say that isn’t even creating a difference.
Let the two divide and finally maintain a differential to diagnose each ailment and treat in such matters.

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Filed under cireryohei, sangretti

I read Bukowski…

I read bukowski when I mingle with the smokers

It’s only fitting to 
me.
Read his poetry 
Thinking thoughts I shouldn’t 
Not at work
But the smokers understand
Puffing away their lives
Relaxing in the painful erotic
of each inhale
I inhale
Think
Upon
My last drink
And the degenerate face of love
The sex the sweat the fluids 
And I feel my cock begin
To get hard
“Do you understand Bokowski’s words,” I ask the smokers
They look at me funny
And I get funny responses
“Who?”
“Is he someone here?”
“He’s a philosophy guy! Just like Plato.”
I laugh
Loud and hard
Because they think I’m ignorant
Because I don’t know how to collect
A bill
I laugh
Long and hard 
Because I never wanted to collect bills
I always wanted to live
Poor 
With tales of women
And stupidity
And drink
More and more and more drink
I understand Bukowski
His words his icon his wisdom
Fuck the smokers
And their slow
Deaths

 

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And I Get It

It was then that I finally understood.

Flying through the thick night air: eyes closed, arms open.

Going too fast but still somehow not fast enough, unable to escape the lilac scent that chased after us.

And I didn’t care about anything.

Not the hope, fear, love, disappointment, not even the hollowness.

All I cared about was the feeling I had and the people I was with.

The feeling that every part of you is on fire,

the feeling that right now is the moment you’re seeking for in the monotony of your mundane daily life:

that you feel truly alive.

And my heart swells in attempt to take in as much as it could knowing that

these moments are rare and fleeting.

Only then had I finally understood what he had meant.

Only then did I know what he had known:

that in that moment we were infinite.

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Filed under Estellaa

His vice

Woe is him.
His life – a distant cry for the truths so heavily concealed with lies.
Nothing’s impossible.
These are nothing more than boundaries, thinking inside or outside of the box is too mundane of a task so why not just think?
Limitations are all in the mind, humans are divine with our ability to build and destroy nations in an instant.
Such power we possess.
Humanity never notices it’s strength through the perseverance of our souls.
Entities of our own.
Such drive should motivate the world to be outspoken about their ideology, faiths, and support their interests rather than ignoring the way of life for others to enforce their own.
It is all similar to me.
All believing in a omnipotent essence that is not their own for empowerment and guidance, so why not share and redefine your own beliefs?
You are still stuck in that cube.
3 dimensions are not enough to describe the vibes I obtain through writing these every letters.
Free flowing – ever changing.
That is the concept of the mind so don’t hold thoughts for too long or else they are lost, never to be the same again.
Don’t you hear it?
Those hidden truths under the shroud of lies are beginning to expose themselves to the world and it is only by choice that you will finally absorb it all.
Man is not simpleminded, rather ignorant and afraid to leave our personal zones of comfort.
Express. Think. Do.

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Filed under cireryohei

Haiku: 21: Telling Dreams

My sister tells me,

“Last night I dreamt of heaven.”

While I dreamt of hell.

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Filed under sangretti

Whispers that Scream

“Back underground” a voice screams out

I get my feet moving as wheels in my head start to turn

I know I’m missing something but I can’t stop now

For it’s a narrow one way path

And judging by the sound

There are a million other people

Just behind my back

I push the thought away, to the back of my mind

Priority is keeping my feet moving to keep myself alive

Darker and darker

Lower and lower

The voices are getting louder and are growing in number

I don’t know where I’m going

Besides blind and deaf so I stop

To catch my breath

And to gather my thoughts

I feel hands and fists pressing on my back

Violently pleading that I get back on track

I turn to remind them that I don’t have a clue

Just where we’re going

Or what the hell they want me to do

My stomach then dropped and I could feel my heart stop

As I began to realize

that I was standing alone

And had been this whole time

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