Tag Archives: pain

Lost in translation

It’s hard to differentiate the sad from the happy if both are caused by the same entity. What more can a man do but be torn through each transition, wondering how the next day will develop.
Lost in his own mind, scurrying about for meaning and reason, alas, it vanished in the abyss that is his cerebral cortex. It comes as no surprise that retribution for the pain is paid in full, yet there’s nothing to say that isn’t even creating a difference.
Let the two divide and finally maintain a differential to diagnose each ailment and treat in such matters.

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Assisted bird suicides cause loathing

I sat there, match lit while pulling it towards my cig.
There they were….
Gliding around me, helpless prey
One landed upon my hand.
Glaring into my eyes, its yellow hues baffled me .
Taking the match from me, it struck it and edged towards me.
Lighting my cigarette, helping my eventual demise.
Neverending from the chain of one helping another.

Birds of a feather
Flock together.

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Filed under aptenodyte, cireryohei, J.L.Wanderer, sangretti

Scar Tissue

This lasts forever
pain
guilt
Like heavy deep scars
gouges healed
but visible
on the heart
on the soul
on the mind
All corrupting the future
with scar tissue
big and bulging out
completely visible
sitting at the bar
hunched over
drink in hand
completely alone

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Filed under Mr. Stacker

Sleight of Heart

I feel cold…inside and out. It was traumatizing just to even say such a thing to her. Letting out all of those thoughts was a true challenge, I almost couldn’t bear it. Yet there I sat, with my face adamant and stern. How could I even bring myself to continue the conversation, how could I add more insult to injury? Telling her I don’t know if I’m still in love with her was tragic enough, let alone me adding in the fact that I may be attracted to other women who share similar interests with myself…and to this day I will forever cherish Gavree in my heart. Sometimes I ask myself if she is the one for me, sometimes I think she only clings to our very relationship because “it is comfortable and feels right”. At the end of it all, I am confused still…yet I want to play it out to see how it is suppose to be in the end. Time will tell and The Lord will show me what Must do. Until then, I will follow my heart and try to fix the love that seems broken between us, hopefully the spark she once had in her eyes will return to ignite my passion towards her.

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The Jango within my mind

Why is it that I don’t love you anymore? How do you upset me so?
I feel that even though we are polarized opposites that should attract, I feel repelled like we are similar electric charges.
Those days when it rained and you held me for warmth don’t feel the same, now I feel stuck in a rut.
Unknown to my own feelings at the moment.
It’s hard for me to understand myself at this point, it’s as if my world is tipping over into oblivion even things seem to shine bright momentarily.
I’ve become intrigued with others that are not you, who are vibrant and eccentric. Through your changes and distrust in me, I feel cornered now. You and I don’t sync as we use to, for now you are in the defensive with any and everything. I knew we wouldn’t be the same after you lost your trust in me, yet you still decided to prolong this and it has only caused you more suffering, knowing this information, I feel I am not the right person for you. As your lover and best friend, this has become the only conclusion I have at the moment and I don’t know what to do. I want you to completely let go and forgive me…alas I know it won’t happen even though you have made those claims before. We try to bandage out wounds, yet we forgot to sterilize them before concealing them, now they have created a disease that seems untreatable at the moment…what are we to do from here?

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His vice

Woe is him.
His life – a distant cry for the truths so heavily concealed with lies.
Nothing’s impossible.
These are nothing more than boundaries, thinking inside or outside of the box is too mundane of a task so why not just think?
Limitations are all in the mind, humans are divine with our ability to build and destroy nations in an instant.
Such power we possess.
Humanity never notices it’s strength through the perseverance of our souls.
Entities of our own.
Such drive should motivate the world to be outspoken about their ideology, faiths, and support their interests rather than ignoring the way of life for others to enforce their own.
It is all similar to me.
All believing in a omnipotent essence that is not their own for empowerment and guidance, so why not share and redefine your own beliefs?
You are still stuck in that cube.
3 dimensions are not enough to describe the vibes I obtain through writing these every letters.
Free flowing – ever changing.
That is the concept of the mind so don’t hold thoughts for too long or else they are lost, never to be the same again.
Don’t you hear it?
Those hidden truths under the shroud of lies are beginning to expose themselves to the world and it is only by choice that you will finally absorb it all.
Man is not simpleminded, rather ignorant and afraid to leave our personal zones of comfort.
Express. Think. Do.

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Tales of a Broken Man pt1

Sitting in this dim-lighted room gazing at the marvel that is this computer seemed to be more than just circuitry. I envision a portal, another plane, a realm where all who enter it can aspire to become anything. A modern day masterpiece it is indeed, yet it is taken for granted. These hands of mine press against the keyboard typing every letter, creating every word, to alleviate the pain I’ve endured through the day. Some people take this realm too lightly. Some enter as they please just for information and go off on their merry way, others share my disposition on the matter. When I’m here, I can become anything, everything, or nothing. It is hard from me to sway away from this feeling of release, the ecstasy from the words I’ve regurgitated back onto the memory banks known as the internet. The only place I feel that I am truly at peace. It is sad, I’ve been in a funk that seems to be unchangeable no matter how hard I scrub. The pungent odor seems to become even stronger as the days progress. Sleep deprivation plagues me, excess school work acts as a deterrent on the happy aspects of life, and I am just consumed in my own angst. Not knowing what I want to strive for, running blindly ahead with my head held high aiming at the sky but I lack the proper foundation to create the staircase to that pedastal that I aspire to stand on in the near future. A blacksmith with all the iron ore in the world and no tools, that is I. I will log it in on this day that I will strive to continue on this path with high expectations and maintain a journal of sorts to share with you all about my adventures through the days, both physical and mental ones. To those of you who share my blight, this shall be our stepping stone for a better you and I. Let’s use this realm we cherish so dearly to voice our opinions, thoughts, and emotions to the world!

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