right in front of me
i watched a man pull pepsi;
half drank; from garbage.
and i thought how we think we’ve all been there.
to justify the sight of melancholy.
half smoked butts, or bowls,
or a pair of jeans all week:
for week on week on week.
or hoping things are better today.
walking to the store,
with no money for gas.
or preferring black coffee:
haven’t fit milk in the budget for months.
pretending you can
sympathize with other lives
that face true hardship.
or watching the birds of the balcony,
seeing things are better today.
As I sit here watching the infant summer waxing and waning simultaneously the wind jostles the small white caps into dancing foam upon the stark contrast of the dark blue water.
As I sit here, thinking of what is past and what is to come, the wind jostles about the electric green grass to long for a public space and these thoughts to short to be record here through my mind like invisible things do through a strainer.
As I sit here, I’m completely disoriented. Out of space and out of time. A cacophony of moments waving and winding before me in endless mind-eye made film negatives, cutting and splicing from what I have imagined and what I have seen through historic document.
As I sit here, disappearing into this small moment in the blissful now and the thoughtful mindlessness, the wind jostles the blood red, pure white, legal blue and shining yellow stars into a fitful cacophony of flapping patriotic surrealism.
robins watch from trees.
I’m watching from my window.
tomorrow, we’ll switch.
give me hope; happiness, heaven;
give me Alexander Supertramp
alone and accepting – always accept.
give me freedom, fun, a fire in my heart;
give me Sam Gribley with Frightful
content and complete – always completing.
give me the sun, the tide, the views you’ve spoke of.
take me to where you’ve gone when you couldn’t take it anymore.
so soft spoken.
take me to the waters of Rio de Janeiro to see their moon and compare it to ours.
take me to the mountain top – Upper Wolfjaw, Whiteface, Rocky Peak Ridge.
take me to the oceans – blue, green, mirrored images of the the sky.
take me home.
The big picture only shows a static image,
and it’s still not enough to learn from.
Ambiguity lived in a constant rotation that only seemed to increase with speed and regularity, no longer finding the same beauty that once awoke him in the early hours to gawk through his window in awe upon and in so he was forced find more windows.
Cold sweat, hidden here,
I’m not sure I’ll make it there.
But with the sun bright,
and with the wind at my back,
I think I’ll take to the road.
rain lands on the road,
rain cat jumps between puddles.
I am a rain dog.
i feel today,
when i look
out the window
into the grey,
its like the sun
has gone away,
absence of light
i go astray,
but if you asked me
what i would say,
about the feeling
i feel today,
i’d answer with a slight delay,
just another normal day
O’holy and high,
Shining without limits.
Do you still gaze at the
Mystery within the moon?
Joyous and strong,
And caught up in endings,
That were taught through movies,
To loud for conversation.
Do you stare at the planes still,
And wonder of the people inside,
And the places they are going?
Angered and aside,
And oh how angry
“Forgetting is different,”
This was decisive.
Do you still wait in your driveway,
Waiting for a car to come and pick you up?
Hazy and blurred,
Remembered in a dream,
Laying in the grass,
In fields, in dirt.
Do you still wake up
I still smile at strangers,
I stare at the moon,
Dance in the sun,
Feel the grass with bare feet.
Do you still dream of the
Things we dreamed of?
I don’t know.