Category Archives: Estellaa


It calls to me.

To every fiber of my being.

Like my father.

And my father’s father.

Brought to my knees by one sip, one hit.

One is too much. One is never enough.

I’ve seen the consequences.

I’ve felt the consequences.

I hate it. I love it.

It drowns me. It brings me to life.

It’s in my blood. It’s who I am.

No. Sip. Yes. Hit.

Eyelids heavy. Cells on fire.

It will come for me eventually.

The death of me, I’m sure.


For now

A fight for another day.


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A Broken Girl’s Inner Dialogue

I know full well
that you are the best thing that ever happened to me.

And yet,
I can’t give you my heart.

Because all those I’ve given pieces of it to
family, lovers, friends

have all cut it out.
And thrown it away.
So unceremoniously.

So if I give you the last bit of my mangled, scarred soul
just to watch you stomp on it

I’m scared of what I’ll become.
In that pain, in that emptiness.

I’m sorry.

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Another Haiku

How am I ever

supposed to trust this fickle

and misguided heart?

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I think it’s one of the most terrible things to feel in life.

Overwhelming love

turn into blinding hate.


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Seventeen Syllables Just Aren’t Enough

Far too loquacious
to ever be able to
write a good haiku.


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So strange to think of a time

when I could look at you with love and affection.

And you could look at me with anything

but hate and resentment.


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You had me at hello, just to say goodbye

Wonderful hellos
Only turn to sad goodbyes.
Is it worth the pain?


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