The Debilitating Realization

I can’t decide if it’s a heavier weight or one that has been lifted,

finally understanding what these people want.

These hollow creatures with one thing on thing their mind but it’s not the colors of your soul or the motivation you have to keep pushing the air in and out of your lungs.

These frauds chase the one thing, the only thing: what you can give them for those fleeting moments of ecstasy while you were just looking for someone who could actually understand the miswirings and misfirings going on in your brain.

These creatures are not my friends,

and they’re definitely not my family.

And while I thought what they wanted was late night talks of life, loss, and true happiness what they really want will never be theirs to keep.

Here I thought they were sticking around because of who I am,

but it will never be enough until they have what I am.

False friends with ill intentions.

That’s all you are,

all you ever were.



Filed under Estellaa

5 responses to “The Debilitating Realization

  1. The tough oddities of life.

  2. I feel a bit awkward pressing “like” for this post, as it’s so heart-wrenching and raw. But it is a beautiful post and beautifully written. I have been in that same place many times, and it is such a painful experience and such a difficult thing to realize.

  3. jlwanderer

    you are a fearless person and your honesty is refreshing

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